Have you no faith??

OK, I know its been a long time since my last post, but I've been busy. Work is kicking my butt and my work travel has been a bit extensive, so blogging has not been a top priority. But things are a bit more settled down for the time being, and I can write a bit.

Thea wrote a blog yesterday about her faith and got me thinking about mine. I've been reading a lot of fiction books lately based on religious topics (I have had a lot of time to read since I spend many hours in airports over the last few weeks.... check out Thea's blog for those details!!). One of the books was about the Templar Knights and their efforts to hide a secret Gospel written by Jesus where he talks about his mortality and proclaims he was nothing more than a man. The book focused on the early Catholic church and how it fabricated a lot of the Jesus story to build the church and give people new hope. It was interesting. I also read a book that claimed that Jesus was not the only Messiah and that another one, named Sophia, existed and performed many of the same miracles and met approximately the same fate. This book again focused on the early Catholic church and how it covered up the existence of this other Messiah because she was a women. Both books were interesting reads and really made me think. I'd give the full reference for each book, but don't have it here at the moment. If interested, leave me a comment and I'll provide it.

I was discussing these books with Thea last night, and she asked if they make me question my faith. They don't make me question my faith. Faith is the belief in something without proof. Even if I have or do not have proof, it does not change what I believe since I don't need proof to believe in it. In addition, someone once told me that you can not have faith without questions and doubts. I'm a very scientific person, whose training is focused on looking at evidence and drawing conclusions based on the physics of the problem. The idea of God, Jesus, and Heaven defy human physics and logic, which brings large doubt into their existence. But keep in mind that at one time, we thought the atom was the smallest particle in matter. The scientific knowledge at the time could not comprehend any more. But now we have invented things like particle accelerators that have been used in the discovery of quarks, which are the building blocks of protons and neutrons.... oops, we were wrong, the atom is not the smallest particle, now quarks are........ until we find a way to split a quark.

The point is that we can not know what God knows, and even though we follow a set a laws, he may not. We can only prove what is in our ability to prove. I truly believe that the only way to know God is through faith. Sure I have doubts, and my scientific mind is always battling my religious mind, but in the end I realize that I believe what I believe and human fact or fiction is not going to change that. There are things out there that at this point in our evolution we just do not understand, and we may never understand them.

I am also reading a book about the historical Jesus. This book focuses on the man, not the center of the religion. It explores what Jesus really might have been like, and what his real message was. It also looks at how man has interpreted Jesus' message to fulfil earthly goals. Another interesting read. I'll blog about it soon.... no really, I will.... have some faith!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

Where did that saying come from, and what does it really mean? Well for the scientists out there I found this re-wording...

The herbage is customarily more verdurous on the diametrical selvage of the property barrier.

Do people actually use the words verdurous and selvage? Anyway, I guess its a proverb that people use to express their discontent with the current situation(s) in their life. I do know that in my life, I often find myself thinking that someone else has it better than me. Lately, I've been thinking about my career path and whether I should make a change or not. In my mind, I think things have to be better or at least different than the current situation, but do they really?? I think when things don't go your way; you have a demanding boss, or unattainable deadlines, or more stress than you can handle, things always look better elsewhere. But I would have to guess that similar situations have to occur on the other side of the fence.

I struggle with how to resolve that conflict. Do you make a change, and then later realize that the things are no better, or do you not make a change and constantly wonder how green the grass really is on the other side. In some aspects of my life, like my marriage and family, I have no doubt about the greenness of my grass (on most days!), but in others, I'm just not so sure.

In contemplating this issue, I came across a quote from a book by Robert Fulghum that probably sums it up the best....

"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be." -- Robert Fulghum, in It was On Fire When I Lay Down on It, Ivy Books, 1989

I need to keep that in mind....

Kids jokes

Ok, my days have been crazy lately... working 50+ hours a week, plus having a sinus infection (again), and generally tired due to lack of sleep (cause of the infection). Sometimes a good laugh helps... and my kids say and do some silly things. Thea has written about these things several times in her blog, so I'm not going to repeat them here, but I got these in an e-mail, and they made me laugh, so I'm going to post them.

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. Aftera while he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES(age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust..." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

I just love these... and the things that come out of kids mouths.. Kids make you stop and take a step back.... look at things from a fresh point of view. Kids views are untainted by society, and not driven by motive, or selfish desires... Its refreshing... and not that I'm complaining, but I have also wondered why women have two....

Some facts....

Ok, My wife, Thea, tagged me, so here are my answers.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30am
2. Diamonds or pearls? Ah, well.....
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Wow, I honestly can't think back that far
4. What is your favorite TV show? Heroes
5. What did you have for breakfast? Peanut Butter Granola Bar....yum
6. What is your middle name? Lawrence
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Chinese
8. What foods do you dislike? Not a big fan of Mexican
9. What are your favorite chips? I was going to say computer..... but Thea would call me a dork, so I'll say Doritos
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I've been hearing the new Daughtry on the radio.... want to get it!
11. What kind of car do you drive? Hyundai Elantra
12. Favorite sandwich? Turkey on a bagel
13. What are characteristics you can't stand? Hypocritical
14. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans and t-shirt
15. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go? Anywhere with my wife
16. There was no sixteen in this little questionnaire so I'll just give you a random fact about myself: I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Do
17. Where would you want to retire? Does not matter, just so I'm near those I love
18. Favorite time of day? 8:01pm
19. Where were you born? Joliet Illinois
20. What is your favorite sport to watch? College Football
21. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Mountain Dew
22. Beavers or ducks? What kind of question is that?
23. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Morning... can't stay awake past 9pm!
24. Pedicure or manicure? I bite my fingernails.... would bite my toe nails if I could reach them
25. What did you want to be when you were little? Coroner (loved Quincy)
26. What is your best childhood memory? Bowling with my dad.... family vacations to Florida
27. Ever been to Africa? Nope
28. Ever been toilet papering? Once
29. Been in a car accident? Yep..
30. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
31. Favorite restaurant? Anything but Bob Evans..... BD Mongolian BBQ
32. Favorite flower? I like them all the same....
33. Favorite ice-cream? Vanilla
34. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's.
35. How many times did you fail your driver's test? none
36. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Client
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy
38. Last person you went to dinner with? Cast of Beauty and the Beast
39. What are you listening to right now? Jake running around upstairs
40. What is your favorite color? Blue!
41. How many tattoos do you have? one.
42. How many are you sending this Email to? Just blogging, not sending via e-mail.
43. What time did you finish this e-mail blog entry? 8:30am.
44. Favorite magazine: Readers Digest
45. Coffee or tea? Diet Mountain Dew
46. Do you tan easily or burn easily? Burn, peel, burn
47. Do you color your hair? Don't have enough to color
48. What was the first car you ever purchased without the help of your parents? Ford Mustang... what a car!!!
49. What is your most dreaded household chore? Cleaning the cat litter..... ick

Smell of the Greasepaint, Roar of the Crowd

Now that the show is over, and my life starts to get back to normal, I find people asking me why I do theater. Why does left-brained engineer enjoy making a spectacle of himself?? I once asked a gal I know why she does theater, and she told me directly, "I do it to hear the applause." That brings visions of Sally Field... "They like me, they really like me."

Hearing the applause is flattering, but I think I use theater as a vacation from my everyday life. What other hobby can you have where you are totally immersed in a life that's not yours. Lumiere (that's the role I played in the play last week) never had to worry about report deadlines, demanding clients, cash flow issues, or screaming pre-schoolers for that matter. Now don't get me wrong, I really love my life and the path I've chosen, but I also like the diversion, and theater gives me that opportunity.

Theater has also helped me learn about myself. No matter how hard I try, I will never be a dancer, but I can move without tripping on my own feet. I can not sing opera, but I hold my own with Broadway type songs. I do not have the stature to be a leading man (I'm more the silly sidekick type), but I know how to develop a character and make him appear bigger than life. Most of all, I have learned that I can accomplish what I put my mind to. Theater really has been an important part of my life and has brought me many of things I adore; many of my friends, my church, my wife.

Thea surprised me on Sunday and brought Jake to see the show. It was a nice surprise since I did not think he was going to be able to see the show. He also was there for one of the dress rehearsals, and I remember looking out and seeing his face while the show was going on. He was mesmerized. He starred at the stage and never moved (which can be unusual for him). I know you can not force your kids into certain extracurricular activities, but I hope he continues to show interest in theater. I think theater can make you a well-rounded person, by constantly challenging you to step outside of your comfort zone, helping you grow. That's all any parent can ask for their kids.

Donuts with Dad

Ok, well, as you can tell, I have not been doing too well on this blogging thing. With the play ending and work kicking my butt this week, I have not had a chance to write much. Well, I had to write a short bit today about my morning.

I got to take Jake to preschool today because it was Donuts with Dads day. Even though the event only lasts 1/2 hour, its kinda a fun time when the Dad can take the kids to school and see what they do, what and who they play with, etc. I went to Donuts with Dads last year, but only a few dads showed up. This year nearly all the Dads were there. However, some could not make it because of business meetings

After the initial hellos, I watched how the other Dads were interacting with their kids. Some of the dads sat and played with their kids, while others sat and watched while their kids played either alone or with another kid. It is a funny sight to see grown men, some of them well over 200 pounds, sitting in small kids chairs. I could tell some of them were wishing to God the 1/2 hour was over.

I played puzzles with Jake for the first few minutes, then we played blocks with his friend Daniel and then matchbox cars with his friend Owen. After that Jake wanted me to read a book, so we both sat on the miniature couch and read a book. After the first book, one of the little boys came up to me and handed me a book to read. I looked for his father, and noticed that he was sitting on the floor kinda daydreaming, not paying much attention to his son. It kinda made me sad for this poor boy, so I told him to take the book to his father. He did and his father then read to him.

I enjoyed the 1/2 hour, and the time I got to spend with Jake at school. I want to be the type of father who goes to these events, participates, and enjoys the interaction. Getting over involved in work is easy. I'm very lucky that I have Thea who always reminds me that work is not the most important thing in my life. I'm also grateful for mornings like today, when interacting with my kids helps remind me how lucky I am to be a father.

My Weekend

Well, the show was this weekend. Here are some pictures... I'll write more about it tomorrow.